We are programmed from childhood to focus our attention outward, seeking life models from family, school and society, learning to find our answers in external sources. At a very early age, we learn to conform our desires to the desires of our family, friends and school in order to fit in, and feel integrated and loved. Over time we lose touch with our true desires, and the gifts that we have brought with us on Earth to fulfil our purpose.
I call the desires that are not rooted in our hearts “adopted desires”, the ones that do not belong to us; we have picked them along the way to survive and to feel accepted in a system whose values are predominantly centered around possession, accomplishment, and achievement. The system that encourages us to shape our life experience from the standpoint of fear, scarcity, lack and inadequacy.
The irony is that as we grow up we actively participate in giving life to this system. We shape our identity around our “adopted desires” and focus our energy and attention on “achieving” goals that do not really belong to us, and are in discord with our heart’s symphony. That is why, even when we achieve the title we worked hard for, or accomplish the position, promotion, external acknowledgment, or award to which we have dedicated our lives, we still feel unfulfilled and incomplete.
We then label this way of living life as a “human” experience to give it normalcy, to reduce the discomfort of feeling disconnected and misaligned, to reduce the pain of forgetting our blueprint, the light and love that lie within us, the strength and power inherent in each and everyone of us, the inner support system that never leaves us alone-not even for a moment, the deep connection that we have with each other, and our bravery in coming to Earth to experience life fully, in our unique way and in alignment with our unique calling. And it is okay to forget; even experiencing amnesia can be a part of the infinite spectrum of life experiences. We have been given the freedom in creating our lives, even if our creation is in disharmony with our true essence. The real question is whether we can find joy in the product of our creation.
The good news is that we are always connected to our essence, even when we operate in misalignment and disharmony. Our distance from embodying our true self is as short as taking a deep, peaceful breath. Most importantly, we are much greater than our programming and the identity that we have created for ourselves. Yes, to deepen our connection with our authentic self and create lasting transformation we need to practice. And yes, we need to change our habits, rewire our brain, let go of anything that no longer serves us, and redirect our attention inward again and again. We must be mindful of where our energy is directed and what it gives life to in every moment. But we can do all of this with compassion, grace, and ease, by allowing our inner strength, wisdom and guidance to work its alchemy and lead us on our journey.
To me, the key to reconnecting with our deepest desires is practicing the art of listening to our heart’s whispers more often. These whispers may invite us to take a short walk outside; smile at someone unexpectedly; close our eyes for a moment and let our minds drift in the vast quiet space; rest our body; connect with the rhythm of our breath; pick up a notebook and write down an idea that arises-even if it seems insignificant; make a phone call; or disconnect from technology by turning off our phones, and the Internet, or stepping away from social media, even if just for a short while.
Cultivating the ability to surrender to our inner wisdom is another empowering step toward reconnecting with our true desires. I invite you to designate specific times throughout the day to set your expectations aside and open your heart to receive without judgement. Trust that your unseen guidance system, in deep harmony with the life force, will guide you toward the path that aligns with your deepest calling. In this deep surrender, become the observer of the unfolding of the greater gifts that are rooted in your essence, waiting for you to create space for them to flow.
I also invite you to avoid comparing yourself with others. We are all the sparks of all that is; we will not be repeated. We are absolutely needed in our most authentic form, to express life in our unique way and to contribute to the expansion of the collective consciousness. Only by recognizing and appreciating our uniqueness we can express our gifts courageously and in fulfilment. Redirect your attention from the sources that pull you back to the loop of self-comparison and self-judgement, whether they are social media, groups of people, narratives, or your own inner thoughts and conversations.
In our uniqueness and individuality, we are deeply connected to each other. In recognizing this interconnectedness, we open our hearts to a greater source of joy, and in serving the well-being of the collective, we experience deeper fulfillment. I encourage you to take daily actions in service to the collective, whether it is an act of kindness toward another person or other earthly beings, without expecting anything in return; dedicating a portion of your time and energy to someone who seeks your help; or giving life to something that brings people into harmony. Embrace these moments as opportunities to reconnect with the infinite life force, which expresses itself in countless shapes and forms, of which we are an exquisite reflection.
In your journey of bringing your awareness inward, I encourage you to remain flexible and embrace the new interests that emerge within you. You may be surprised at how different they are from your usual interests. Find ways to nurture these interests and avoid ignoring them. Be flexible to changing directions, activities, or even groups of people you belong to. Start with small steps, ones that do not feel overwhelming. These small steps could become your most empowering and transformative actions.
In a world that constantly encourages us to be someone else, it takes courage to simply be ourselves. I celebrate your bravery in taking steps toward turning your awareness inward, and connecting with your authentic blueprints and callings, and I have no doubt that with your unique strengths, you will make the world a much better place.
Attieh Shahvarpour, Ph.D.
Founder & CEO at Aligned Reinvention Coaching LLC